Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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