This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
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