You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
