we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
