M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Randomize
