That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Randomize
