OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I want to fling myself into the sun
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
