How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
