whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
