How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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