Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
