I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
