You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
