Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
