Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
