Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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