I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
