do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
