Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
