i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
