Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
