She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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