Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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