is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
God I need to hump something, right now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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