4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
