i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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