So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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