On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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