Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
