No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
