Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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