Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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