So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
He shit in the fireplace
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
