we're blogging at a bar
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
