I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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