How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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