btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
