everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
