At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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