but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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