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My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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