Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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