Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
