I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
