You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
