my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
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