Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I think i got beer on your cat.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
