..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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