Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
