made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
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