I think I died a long time ago.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
