I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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