im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
