Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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